Hi friends! Boy, has it been ages since my last post on here. I have a lot to catch you up on, from my acne flare up to my mental health. So here goes.
Not a single pimple in the year 2016 until the gloomy day of December 31, 2016. I thought I could keep the streak going, but my luck just isn’t that considerate towards me. Now I have a bunch of tiny friends popping up every few days, but luckily I restarted my clear skin routine that I made a video of below. It’s kind of going away, but considering the fact that my eating and sleep habits have been erratic, I don’t expect the superficial remedies to work optimally. As far as my New Year’s resolution of working out consistently, I can kiss that one goodbye. The fourth time I worked out this year, was three days ago. I know, please stop cringing.
This may be the year of the Fire Rooster, but as far as my mental health goes, it’s probably the year of insecurities, lack of motivation and self-pity. Knowing myself and the way I uphold myself, I seem pretty confident according to what people tell me. That was true for a few years, but 2017 has really been kicking me to the curb. I think the fact that this is my first fellowship ever, while pursuing two bachelor’s degrees and a YouTube channel is taking a huge toll on me.
I used to be great at answering texts and emails within minutes or worst case, an hour. Having so much to do has stressed me out to the point where I have anxiety looking at my calendar, and I don’t mean the healthy kind of stress. I am so worried about how I am going to get the work done, to the point where I spend most of my time stressing and not even starting the job till later. At the same time, I can’t just disappear into the twilight zone and finish off my work all day because I still need to maintain some sort of social life. I’m still trying to figure out how to calm my nerves more, but any suggestions would be appreciated.
Constantly getting emails, social media alerts, a constantly spamming GroupMe, and all this work to do makes me want to throw my phone out of the window and just forget about this world for just a moment to self-reflect and rediscover the confident, passionate, and determined Rafa I used to love being. I think what I need is a social media cleanse.
All these never-ending notifications fades into a background hum that I don’t want to deal with. Constructing a professional email takes effort, just as editing a YouTube video, writing an article, and creating a great Instagram caption does. So what did I start doing? I let notifications sit there, and if an email or text requires a response longer than a paragraph (you would be surprised how many of those I have), I just mark it as unread and let it sit till I get the time or rather “feel like” responding to it. These unattended messages and perfunctory jobs only make me feel incompetent and worthless, and I have never felt this way before. This constant whining about my self-inflicted problems has trickled down to impacting the way I think others see me. I feel like others see me as the sob story I see myself as.
What I need is motivation, a tactic to relax and a social media cleanse. Hopefully this reinvigorates my confidence. Any advice or suggestions would really help.
As usual, please check out my video and subscribe. Pass along the link to friends who would be interested in this video and tell them to subscribe as well! Love you all.